gratitude

I’ve been wanting for months now to put down in words how grateful we were/are for everyone during our ordeal with Josiah in the hospital.  If you missed any of that you can read about it here, here, and here.  It has been so hard to wrap my mind around all of those events so it’s been difficult to truly convey our gratitude.  I started this post back on November 4 and then hoped to at least get it done for Thanksgiving and now here it is at the end of January.  Of course, I still haven’t written William’s birth story down yet and he’s now 16 months!  So, this is actually pretty good.

Back on November 3, I read this blog post from A Bit of Sunshine and Rebekah had just been through a trial with her youngest son.  I am not always good with words but she said a couple things that really nailed it on the head for what I was thinking.  The first was when she said:

The text messages and phone calls and prayer chains, the warm meals that friends brought over that night, the tears of joy that baby Zeb is totally fine…those things “wrecked my heart for good” as I put on Instagram.

I completely understand what she meant by “wreaked my heart for good”!  We were so overwhelmed with people reaching out to us that it tore up my heart, but in a totally great way.  I was so amazed by family and friends and even those who we haven’t talked to in a long time who sent us cards, gifts, and money and came to visit and bring us meals while at the hospital and afterwards.  Our sweet friends took our other two kids in with their family.  Others drove the kids up to Austin so I only had to make the 40 minute drive (one way) once a day to nurse my baby instead of twice like I had been doing.  Josiah’s schoolmates, most of whom didn’t even know him since he is a kindergartner and this was 2 months in, wrote him cards and pictures and prayed a ton.  That was what we appreciated the most- all the prayers and words of encouragement from everyone.  One of the good things about Facebook is the immediacy with which you can get information out.  We were able to give most everyone updates throughout the day and even a couple times when we needed immediate prayer for certain rough situations people could find out about it instantly and pass the word on.  I know that people from all over the world were praying for our sweet boy and it is what got us through such a hard time.  The hospital has a free service where you can fill out a card online and it gets delivered to the room.  We left the hospital with a stack as thick as a novel along with all the other cards and signs to look back over and thank God for such caring people.

You wouldn’t know by looking at him now that he had ever had any problems.  Thankfully, he hasn’t had any breathing issues at all since we left and so hopefully when we go for a check up with his pulmonologist in February he’ll be able to lower his medicine dosage.

Another thing Rebekah said in her post was:

And during the ordeal on Wednesday we talked more about how amazing it is that through trials and attacks love suddenly floods to the center of all relationships. The silly differences and quips, the things that really don’t matter at all but keep us from being close to one another – they fly out the window and we cling to each other in hope. I have a new view on trauma, on inner trauma on the things we battle silently each day. How would we treat each other if we knew what was going on on the inside for our friends. Would we reach out differently? Would we love one another and listen more intentionally would we cast off our own need for acknowledgements and hurts in order to embrace one another in our humanity?

Thankfully, we were blessed to come through the ordeal with a great outcome.  God had mercy on us and healed our son.  But being in that situation gave me a glimpse into what others go through when they have a loved one that is sick or have some kind of trauma happening in their life.  It has shown me just how important and appreciated small gestures are to those in pain and has made me want to be more purposeful in being there for others.  I have often wanted to do things in the past but haven’t always had the best follow through.  Hopefully as time passes and the traumatic feelings and memories fade I won’t lose the desire to reach out to others in their time of need.

And as Rebekah says in the quote above, we should also think about those around us who may be battling something quietly right in front of us.  It is so easy for me to be wrapped up in my own little world and pass others by without much thought or get annoyed when they act unfriendly, but do I stop and think about what might they be going through and how I can help make their day better?

I also cannot write this post without giving praises to the nurses, doctors, respitory therapists, and other staff at the hospital including the women who worked so hard at keeping the rooms clean.  They were all simply amazing.  I have always had so much respect for people in those professions but after seeing what they do day in and day out I am an even bigger cheerleader.  We were able to go back to the PICU a few weeks ago and see some of the staff that worked with us and thank them.  I know it can be a very discouraging job at times and they often don’t get to see the kids all the way healed since when they leave the PICU they are going to a less intense room in the hospital.  So I hope our visit gave them some encouragement.

So, to sum it all up.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  We are forever grateful for all the love and care from all of you.